The Truth About Making Guy Friends

July 17, 2014

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Sometimes it seems like the world has declared open season on men. Everywhere you look, from sitcoms to commercials, bungling, inept men, who look as if they’d be doing the world a favor if they died and were removed from the gene pool, struggle to wash dishes or do a load of laundry.

And though we hate this state of affairs as much as the next man, there are some masculine behaviors that get on our nerves and deserve to be called out.

If you or anyone you know does any of the following things, please, for the sake of the rest of us, stop. Being inconsiderate doesn’t make you “alpha” any more than putting on a tuxedo makes you a gentleman, and your friendships – not to mention your love life – will suffer if you continue to define manhood in these destructive ways.

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Few moves define “douchebag” quite like pulling up to a stoplight, in a Harley or an imitation sports car, and revving your engine for the world to hear. Bonus points if you do it at night or if you belong to a “gang” who get together and amplify the noise.

If your way of bonding with men for the first time is telling a racist, sexist or homophobic joke, you need to re-evaluate both your sense of humor and your personality.

Instead of putting down an entire group of people and making everyone around you uncomfortable, try keeping your mouth shut – no one ever got in trouble for what they didn’t say. Or, if you need to put down someone to get a laugh out of people, put yourself down instead.

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Any guy who’s had a girlfriend, and especially those lucky enough to land the head-turningly beautiful kind, have had the experience of catching another man flirting with their girl.

Hell, if you’re as daring as you should be, you’ve probably been in the opposite position and been interrupted in the middle of your pitch by the returning boyfriend.

No big deal. If you’re the boyfriend, be flattered that another man shares your good taste.

If you’re the other guy, bow out graciously and compliment said boyfriend. Do not continue to flirt with the girl in front of the boyfriend.

All you’re doing is making a fool out of yourself and provoking a fight that, win or lose, you deserved. Show some class.

And, needless to say, it is forbidden to flirt with a friend’s girlfriend, no matter how innocently.

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