Separate Flirting From Being Nice

August 26, 2014


Ever wonder what it really takes to hit all the right notes with a woman? Gone are the days when cheesy come-ons and a passed note in class were adequate attempts at flirting.

You have to give women more, and while good looks help, you need the right set of personality traits: namely charisma, good manners, and a good sense of humor. There are ways to approach a woman and engage in stimulating conversation that will leave her wanting to know more about you.

Bantering + A Smirk = Successful Flirt

Being able to banter when you first start talking to a girl is one of the most important and effective ways to get her attention right away. Most of the time, when the chemistry is there, you will do this automatically. But many guys skew too far in one direction or another.

Banter is defined as “the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.”

Once you’ve bantered for a couple minutes, it’s alright to switch gears and talk about something a little bit more serious or personal.

Showing her that you’ve got the contrast between playfulness and seriousness will show you to be a guy who is multi-faceted, not a one-note Johnny.

Apparently, for some reason, nothing screams neediness in a guy more than a huge, gleaming, ear to ear smile. Think of smirking as the smile’s more seductive, more confident older brother. It’s otherwise known as the eye smile, and it’s extremely effective at communicating your feelings non-verbally.

It’s Better When It’s Not Forced

Offering an original compliment is a really effective way to flirt. You can all but guarantee the girl you’re trying to talk to has heard most of the more clichéd compliments dozens of times over the better part of her adult life.

Instead of going for the more obvious compliments, actually do a little bit of work and try to compliment her on something a bit more subtle.


It could be a small quirk, like the way her nose crinkles when she laughs, or the fact that, even if she doesn’t show it off, she’s really smart.

If you ask any woman out there the qualities that she looks for in a man, you can all but guarantee a sense of humor is going to be on the list — and for many, it’s near the top.

Lots of guys, having heard this fact for a really long time, assume they have to be some sort of stand-up comic to get the girl.

It’s not about cracking jokes. It’s about showing her that you don’t take everything so seriously and you can see the lighter side of situations.

If there is mutual attraction, it won’t take a grade-A knee-slapper to make her laugh. A few casual and funny observations will probably give her a chuckle, and that’s how you’ll know that you’ve got her interest.

Make Her Your Universe

Girls like to feel special, and everybody knows that. That’s why, if you can make her feel like she’s the only girl in the room, you’ll have a much better chance of hitting it off. It may sound a little cheesy, but it’s a super important tip for flirting.

Before you go off ignoring your surroundings and pretending there’s nothing else in the universe at that moment besides her, you want to make sure she knows that you are a valuable, interesting person yourself.