Relationship Challenge For Beginners

June 16, 2014

Dating these days is full of rule-bending as gender roles continue to bend themselves. The beginning of a relationship can be a tricky course to navigate. Guys aren’t so good at guessing what women think or want.

If your deodorant is working, you have about 15 seconds to prove that you’re not just another jackass who wants to get in her pants.

You need to show confidence, nonthreatening charm, and a smidgen of aggressiveness to let her know you’re decisive. If she looks at you for three beats, you’re cleared for approach.

Only a fraction of the Mikes and Toms who ask for her number ever actually call her — a conundrum she regards as the Bermuda Triangle of male mysteries. She knows you’re not calling for investment tips, so keep it quick and simple. Within 2 days, dial the number she gave you, identify yourself, and suggest a definite date.

As far as the first date goes, if she shows up, she’s at least mildly interested in having sex with you. Or not totally repulsed. You’re not looking to get her naked before she’s comfortable, but you are interested in getting naked with her. Throughout the night, touch her protectively — like lightly resting your hand on her back as you guide her to the restaurant table.

Taking off your clothes with a new woman is always uncharted territory. The key to great sex the first time is taking it slow. Few guys know how much a woman loves to be stroked with her bra and panties still on, so don’t rush to get her naked. Show her you understand the importance of foreplay.

After sex, hold her for at least 10 minutes, tell her she has a great body, and stay the night. This shows reverence for her body and reassures her that you want sex to be part of the journey of the relationship, not the destination.