20 Cars You Don’t Want To Be Seen Driving

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Driving a Porsche isn’t possible for everyone, but there are some cars that you may definitely want to avoid if you are in the market for a new or used car. The cars that made this list aren’t exactly known for their style and they may cramp yours if you drive one home. If you happen to own one, you might even consider offering it for sale!

1. Chevrolet SSR

This vehicle isn’t quite sure what it wants to be so many onlookers will gaze at the driver wondering to see if they know.

These cars can also come in some rather vibrant and bold colors. If you love intense colors, it might be best to choose another car to tool around in.

This one seems to get attention for all the wrong reasons. People are genuinely confused by its appearance as it just doesn’t seem quite right. It has features of El Caminos, sports cars, and sedans. It is rather a chameleon of a car.

While any car is fine if you don’t have one and need to get from point A to point B, it’s a good idea to choose something else if you have the opportunity to select a less confusing car. This design just seems to be doing too much at once.

You can save yourself some strange looks from people by choosing a less ostentatious vehicle. If you do have your heart set on one, don’t be surprised to get those questions from people who want to know if you’re driving a truck or a car. In fact, you can simply answer both as either case might be right!

318 Comments

  1. Bradley Temperley

    May 9, 2014 at 8:48 am

    You are completely wrong about the Nissan Cube, though the rounded shape of the current model is a long way from the square purity of the second generation. The Cube and Cube³ (Cube Cubic) are brilliantly packaged, have lot of storage space and are only slightly underpowered. The ideal “freeter” car.
    Even the Smart FourTwo has its merits… parking for one.

    • Walter Edvalson

      May 11, 2014 at 6:36 pm

      WOW, someone actually defending the Cube … and knowing of the Cube3 (I can’t even get the 3 to go subscript like you did). If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are a Nissan dealer … but … hmmm … maybe you just like ugly cars.

      • Picky McPickers

        May 15, 2014 at 7:55 pm

        It’s not a subscript… it’s a superscript…

      • Jim Burns

        May 15, 2014 at 7:59 pm

        I have had a Nissan Cube since 2009 the first year it came to the US. The cars that year were all made in Japan (which I can shamefully admit was a selling point for me). I was looking for a cheap car during O’Bamas Cash for Clunkers and went to look at a Nissan Versa. When I got there I saw the Cube and climbed inside it. At first glance from the inside the Cube is odd. The windows somehow provide a strange panoramic view, more so then a van. I took it for a ride and just thought it was weird to drive, so much so, that I described it to my wife and asked her if she would like to check it out for the oddnesss. The second time I drove it I started to notice a lot of good things about the car. The seat is extremely confortable and great for very long drives. I like the way a CVT transmission sounds over small engine automatic transmissions that wind out and you get tense waiting for them to shift, engine sounding like its going to explode. You can drop the rear seats forward and there is enough room to put that big box your Flat screen TV you just bougth in. The good and the bad: I have 120,000 miles on the car and have never had to replace the brakes! The Bad, Nissan only guaranteed the drive train for 30,000 miles when I bought the car. About 6 months later I received a letter from Nissan with a 100,000 warranty they offered because people were supersticous about the CVT transmission and not buying the car. At 102,000 miles my transmission burned up. I went to the dealer hugely depressed because I had barely gone over. The manager then told me that Nissan had changed the warranty again to 120,000 miles! Whew! Free replacement. But I am sorry, in my opinion a transmission should last about 200,000 from prior experience and my plan was to drive the car into the ground. So now I’ll sell it at 150,000. The other bad thing is that the body is largely plastic on the lower half of the car. If you do a little more than tap a car with your bumper the parts seperate. A good push will ordinarilly snap the pieces back to gether again, but if you have more than a love tap, you have to buy all new pieces. Maybe all cars are like that now, I don’t know this was the first car I bought brand new (and maybe the last).
        Ok so the car is odd looking and people do judge you by your car if its outside the arena of Sedan. Mostly I see Greenpeace/Hippy era types driving them. They are not ugly jus a little weird. Every year they show up on the top 10 ugliest cars though.
        I really only have this to say about being judged by the car you drive.
        If you are a man and buy a sportscar that is painted RED, Dude you just did the equivalant of piercing the wrong ear!. Unfortunatley that car is a lot bigger than that little stud you put in your hipster ear :-).

        • aelon

          May 22, 2014 at 2:14 pm

          To get the gas milage that is demanded in new standards now, most cars are heavily plastic now. Except for an experiment where engineers made a car entirely from carbon composite. Talk about light!

      • John Carter

        May 21, 2014 at 7:14 pm

        yes we cube owners will definitely defend them! my partner and I have two, Cubert and Cubette (Thang1, Thang2). great ride, comfortable seats, loads of space, lot of features for the price and good mpg, all while being practical and fun to drive

      • John Carter

        May 21, 2014 at 7:37 pm

        oh yes we cube owners will definitely defend them! my partner and I have two, Cubert (Thang1) and Cubette (Thang2) and couldn’t be happier. great ride, comfortable seats, tons of space, lots of features for price, good mpg. all while being practical and fun to drive

      • Wretamori

        May 27, 2014 at 3:27 pm

        it’s superscript. not subscript. that’s prolly the reason why you can’t get it to work. LOL

    • Dig the Truth

      May 14, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      turn in your man card

    • Spamalot

      May 15, 2014 at 9:52 pm

      How many clowns do you fit in your cube – cuz it looks like it should have 20 or so coming out of it!!!

    • TXAli225

      May 20, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      I love the Cube, too. It’s quirky and stands out in a crowd of cookie cutter, boring cars. I have a mini-van right now that I love, but a Cube is on my wish list. It’s a fun vehicle. Naysayers are just a bunch of fuddyduddys! To each his or her own, I say.

    • Chris

      May 22, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      could not disagree more! the cube is perhaps the worst car I have ever driven. If you want a quirky city car then maybe, but due to its boxy shape and light weight it is a terror on any highway. Also because of its shape it is a it heavy for a car this size and really does not get very good gas mileage.

  2. Stan

    May 9, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    This article appears to have been written by a 14 year old both in style and content m

    • DallasMom

      May 12, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      Sorry, but that’s an insult to 14 yr olds. Mine would have done a MUCH better job than this.

    • Highway 69

      May 12, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      No doubt!

    • Buzz Lightyear

      May 13, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      And redundancy/repetition.

    • Agreed

      May 14, 2014 at 11:07 am

      Amen brother… though 14 might be giving him too much credit

    • Fiona Lin

      May 15, 2014 at 11:43 pm

      I agree… also, how immature is the “minivan” comment? They are very practical for many people, and it’s not embarrassing to drive one AT ALL. I love my minivan (Toyota Sienna); it is quiet and provides a smooth ride. We have 3 small children; it’s nice to not worry about measuring for car seats because there is plenty of space. The kids love the dvd player. I love the power-sliding doors!

      Also – it’s dirt cheap to insure. Been driving it for 5 years now and routinely change my insurance carriers to keep my rates low (to avoid rate increases). I’m usually able to get rates around the $25 to $30 a month range (thanks Insurance Panda!!!). The Sienna is more than twice as cheap as my husband’s Escalade to insure. Could not be happier with it.

      • Stone Crusader

        May 20, 2014 at 8:46 am

        Thank you for the tip on “Insurance Panda” – my mom drives a Toyota Sienna as well and pays way too much for insurance, so I’ll definitely check it out!

      • Ascientist

        May 25, 2014 at 3:56 pm

        Well, Fiona, I’m not disagreeing with your practical outlook, but you may not be the target audience for this piece in MEN’S magazine. Your husband may not have sold the Escalade because he’s too embarrassed to be seen in your Sienna, fine car though I’m sure it is.

        If a vehicle is known to be driven by women or hairdressers or for being excessively cute, it takes a very confident and self-assured man to drive one. Most men are simply not in that category…

        • atc333

          May 27, 2014 at 7:15 pm

          So then, why the H-2? Right up the macho man’s alley I would think.

          • matt

            June 16, 2014 at 11:46 am

            Hummers are the most annoying and rediculous vehicles in the world that is why they are on here. Most people see hummer drivers as protencious “i just want to be seen” dicks

        • Butch

          May 28, 2014 at 8:47 pm

          Boy are you wrong Ascientist,I know more than a few men including myself that have no qualms about driving a minivan. They are so handy and are great for us traveling retirees.

          • gchambers3

            June 1, 2014 at 9:31 pm

            I’ve been driving minivans since the early 1960s. Love ’em.

          • imajoebob

            June 2, 2014 at 5:47 pm

            Which is why I own a station wagon. Manly and handy. Find me a minivan I can slide some 4×8 sheets of plywood into. Also, the dogs love riding in the back. And women love to say hi to the dogs when I throw the groceries in the tailgate.

        • Tony

          June 1, 2014 at 9:34 am

          For that matter, just how bad are the old full-size station wagons? The last ones made (Chevy Caprice and Buick Roadmaster rode beautifully and could tow as much as many half-ton trucks. My personal favorites? The big GM wagons from the early 70s with the rear window that rolled up into the roof and tailgate that rolled beneath the floor. Damned cool and insanely useful. I’d love to have one, and I’m a guy. The Smart Car though, is useless unless you are strictly going for close-quarters maneuvering–I’d looked at them and found they actually don’t get all that good fuel economy. In fact, most compact cars get better mileage. The Town Car pictured in this article is old enough to be a classic–I’d drive it or any other Town Car in good shape. Those were the last true mass-produced luxury vehicles–and they were luxurious. The Element I’ve heard nothing but praise from everyone who owns or has owned one–what’s unmanly about driving a good useful vehicle? I missed something.

          • Clay Fitzgerald

            June 2, 2014 at 5:16 pm

            This article is kinda all over the place. Lincoln still produces a Town Car, but they chose the picture of one that’s decades old; Subaru hasn’t produced a Baja for a long time and Hummers are out of production for the civilian market. If this had focused on current production models it just might have had a point, but on the face of it seems frivolous.

          • Sick and tired

            June 24, 2014 at 7:05 pm

            That was my complaint. …Yugo? Gremlin? if you can find them, they’re probably collectors items by now.

          • imajoebob

            June 2, 2014 at 5:50 pm

            As I already commented, I own a wagon (two, in fact). Nothing says “Station Wagon” like a mid-60’s Ford Country Squire!

      • DanielAMcAllen

        May 27, 2014 at 7:00 pm

        I agree with your sentiments (and said basically the same thing in my own comment) but I would point out that as a woman you aren’t the person this article is theoretically aimed at.

      • KarlJay

        May 28, 2014 at 11:23 pm

        OK…not cool. But Golf Digest said this is the best vehicle for a foursome of golfers. Space for four golf bags, four golfers, four overnight bags and lots of drink holders! And still room for other odds and ends.

        But I still love my 2006 Dodge Durango with the 5.7 Hemi.

      • Frenchie

        May 30, 2014 at 10:32 pm

        I would NEVER buy anything but a Toyota. On our second Camry since 1984 and have a Corolla, too. They just don’t die! Incredibly reliable, great handling, wonderful suspension, fabulous fuel economy, intelligent interior amenities. In fact, when we must rent a vehicle, we insist on a Toyota. I could tell you about our ancient mistakes and name makes and models that were not Toyotas but I’d rather focus on the positive. Ya live and ya learn. I will make one semi revealing comment. In the past, when we “bought American” even the paint job didn’t last! Oh, and the Camry is the most American vehicle available. American-based parts as much as possible, built in America, by Americans. Talk about a win-win. And the Sienna we rented? It drove like a car rather than a cumbersome minivan! Fantastic!

        • Destry

          June 2, 2014 at 5:35 pm

          Toyotas do have a great history, but later models have been problematic in some ways, like recalls for uncontrolled acceleration. The son of close friends had a Rav4, being a mechanic, he found it had some problems. He replaced it with a used Honda Pilot. While still a good car, Toyotas aren’t the same as they used to be. I’d put a Subaru up along side of Toyota for quality and longevity any day, and Honda is right up there, too. Mazda and Nissan are pretty high in the quality arena also.
          Now, to take a slightly different tack, when it comes to full size pickups with the capability of hauling heavy loads or towing large trailers, only the big 3 American brands are producing them. Nissan and Toyota are trying to make inroads into that market, but only in the 1/2 ton market; as for 3/4 ton and larger, and diesels there’s no competition so far.

          • Guido Fawkes

            June 3, 2014 at 12:57 am

            At least Toyota recalls the cars and fixes the problems. Apparently my car had some problem where a nut could come loose and the wiper motor arm wouldn’t clean the windshield properly so they just recalled it and fixed it for free. My car is 7 years old.

            Now compare that to GM’s resistance to having a recall for an ignition switch failure that turns off the power steering, power brakes and airbags, and has killed a few people.

            I’m okay with acknowledging that there is a problem, fixing the problem, and putting my car back on the road. I’m not okay with acknowledging that there is a problem and telling the customer “too bad” and that they have to take the risk. My only complaints about Toyota concern their financing company.

          • Clay Fitzgerald

            June 25, 2014 at 5:25 pm

            Toyota resisted recalling their vehicles over the uncontrolled acceleration issue; they said it was the drivers fault or that after market floor mats were jamming the gas pedal.

        • anonymous

          June 20, 2014 at 8:05 am

          Ok, I don’t know what world you are living in but Toyota has never and I mean NEVER been an American car company, oh and ps AMERICA MAKES NOTHING FOR THEM SELVES ANYMORE, IT IS ALL MIDDLE EAST NOW, and as a citizen born and raised in America it is painful for me to admit that. I’m not arguing that Toyota makes a bad car in fact right now Toyota would be one of my first choices but they have always been a Japanese company just like Nissan and Mazda.

          • Clay Fitzgerald

            June 25, 2014 at 5:30 pm

            So, what’s your point? Sure… Toyota, Nissan, Mazda, Subaru are Japanese companies, but they are manufacturing vehicles in the U.S. for this market, just as Ford, G.M. and Chrysler have done for decades in Europe.
            Now, what is it that is made in the Middle East that’s being imported into the U.S. these days besides terrorism?

      • Mikey

        June 2, 2014 at 3:20 pm

        I’m sure its fine for a chick with kids

      • imajoebob

        June 2, 2014 at 5:53 pm

        Keep switching insurance and you’ll suddenly go from $30 a month to $5,000 a year. Constantly cancelling your insurance policy is defined as “high risk” behavior, and will get you thrown into the sucker pool.

      • Susanne Biddle Shaw

        June 2, 2014 at 6:06 pm

        $25 to $30 per month for auto insurance? You obviously don’t live in Louisiana! HA!

        • Dom

          June 16, 2014 at 4:34 pm

          Rates that low are available in LA and most other states. You just need good credit w/ a clear driving record.

          • Clay Fitzgerald

            June 25, 2014 at 6:05 pm

            While having a good credit rating and clear driving record are factors, it depends on the type of coverage you need or want. If all you want is liability coverage (the only type required by law in some states) then you can probably pay $300 to $400 a year for one vehicle, but if you add collision, comprehensive, uninsured motorist, towing and other coverage, then the costs start adding up. With 2 cars, a pick up and a trailer, I pay about $185/month to insure them with just about full coverage on all of them; that averages just a little more than $45/month each.
            But there are so many variables in calculating what the costs will be for any coverage, such as geographical location, number of miles driven annually, driving record, age and make/model of vehicle, that making general statements about the cost of auto insurance is just a little disingenuous.

    • jimbon88

      May 16, 2014 at 5:58 pm

      As all the mini-van drivers respond with thumbs up. The rest of us agree with the article.

      • Work hard, invest wisely.

        May 19, 2014 at 2:27 pm

        Stop by a soccer field and note the vehicles. 70% will be mini-vans. They have a purpose and are great.

        • Andrew Pickle

          May 28, 2014 at 4:18 pm

          No one is debating their practicality…

      • zlowes

        May 29, 2014 at 7:33 pm

        You really think so jimbon88? I for one don’t drive a mini van, yet still don’t agree – bugger, huh…

      • DaGrump

        June 24, 2014 at 9:05 pm

        Does a 1961 Ford Falcon Econoline (engine in the middle) count as a mini-van? Certainly seems smaller than most “mini”vans on the road now…… And the Econoline was a fun little beast……………absolutely horrendous, but fun!

    • rp

      May 17, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      Or someone in a mid life crisis who would only be satisfied by a sporty convertible and a busty blond.

      • RavviOli

        May 27, 2014 at 10:02 pm

        Not that mature

    • Nue View

      May 18, 2014 at 8:54 pm

      Granted…a few vehicles are not too bad…but most of what is written hits the spot.
      Perhaps for the most part, it just insults the 14-year old mentality. Remember…being cool should be the pursuit of a juvenile, not a mature adult.

    • M.C.W.

      May 26, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      The big exception to your observation is calling the Honda a ‘milk truck’…most people these days have never seen a ‘milk truck’…

    • Guido Fawkes

      June 3, 2014 at 12:52 am

      Most 14 year olds have more sense than this. I’d say an alien from another dimension would be more likely to come up with this list.

      I would pay to drive a Subaru Baja before I would take a PT Cruiser for free. And there are several decent minivans on the market now. Someone mentioned the Toyota Sienna. And BMW and Lexus both make some cars that whether you call them minivans or small SUVs, I would take them before a Honda Civic del Sol or BMW Z3 (AKA roller-skates).

      Another entry for my ‘worst’ list is the VW Beetle — the ‘new’ one, not the ‘old’ one. The ‘new’ one doesn’t look like it should have bad visibility for the driver, since it looks like an upside-down turtle bowl. But when I’ve actually driven one it was one of the worst experiences in terms of situational awareness that I have ever had — and I’m including comparisons to the Acura Integra 2-door coupe and the Camaro convertible with the top up.

  3. John

    May 11, 2014 at 11:52 am

    The author of this article has obviously not driven the cars he or she is writing about and really doesn’t know what they are saying. I owned two of the cars in the list, a Chevy SSR and the Honda Element. I did get attention with the SSR, but never negative attention. Everyone who I talked to admired the truck, loved that it was distinctive, and never asked any of the inane questions to which the author referred. The Element was my around town commuter car; easy to drive and spacious. No one really paid attention to the Element as there were so many others on the road. Given the Scion XB, the Nissan Cube, the Kia Soul, the Element did not look out of place. The article is another example of a “so-called journalist” writing from his or her imagination and not from actual experience, and an on-line magazine that is willing to publish any content. The decline of reporting in favor of entertainment.

    • Keeper

      May 15, 2014 at 4:48 pm

      Really? I’ve always thought the SSR looked like a truck Mickey Mouse would drive. Not a car. Not quite a truck. Dumber looking than an el Camino.

  4. onefeather

    May 11, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    Who cares. Typical American thinking do what is popular. If someone tells me they don’t like my car, then don’t ride in it. I don’t buy my car for someone else to like, how stupid would that be.

    • carol brown

      May 15, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      ‘Typical American thinking’. Luckily the rest of the world is soooo enlightened.

    • jimbon88

      May 16, 2014 at 6:00 pm

      Just like the “SUV” craze. Those bloated vehicles are neither sporty or much utility, but ‘mericans love them. It’s a fad.

      • dru

        May 24, 2014 at 6:22 pm

        muricans

      • RavviOli

        May 27, 2014 at 10:07 pm

        I love my Chevy Suburban. I got it over 20 years ago. About the only thing I have not hauled or pulled with it is an overweight pregnant elephant. Give me time and I might try that. If I get in a wreck with you while you are driving your cramped little Micky Mouse Mobile, guess which one of us get to go to the hospital..

    • Leila

      May 29, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      I have to agree with you. I don’t buy a vehicle because of what other people think of it. I buy what I like and what’s right for me.

    • anonymous

      June 20, 2014 at 8:26 am

      See now, this offends me because I am an AMERICAN, sure I like loud rumbly old-school muscle cars and that kind of thing I mean for crying out loud my favorite car in the world is a 1967 c2 corvette hard top with a 427 engine and a quad barrel carb but I have enough sense to pick a vehicle based on what I need out of it rather than what I want, and even if I didn’t like the way a car performs I grew up helping my mechanic father completely rebuild cars so I am pretty sure I can do any tuning or aftermarket replacement I need/want to do given I check the books to make sure I don’t destroy the vehicle or possibly kill me or someone else by forgetting something.

  5. AL

    May 11, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    I find it hilarious that the author suggested avoiding a yellow body if one HAS to have that silly Hummer H2 since yellow is the most popular color for that vehicle. I have never seen a white, blue or black one on the streets in my state.

    • Hummer Nation

      May 12, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      What so silly about them? You will have to buy two smart cars to live the life span of one Hummer. It takes more environmental materials that are stripped from the Earth to make a smart car then it does a Hummer. Smart car batteries alone are more harmful than any pollutants the H2 will ever emit.
      You know what I think is silly? It’s the green eyed monster that grows in everyone who sees these beautiful vehicles, and bashes the ones who are driving them. Are you the one who bought it? Are you the one who can afford paying for the gas? No? huh… Go play in your tin can and leave us grown-ups alone! Oh, Psssst… they come in different colors

  6. irisheyes

    May 12, 2014 at 5:05 am

    I’m sorry, who decided a minivan is a pariah??? I find them very versatile…. In what other vehicle can you ditch the back seats, put in a double queen airbed, a cooler and a GPS and have it double as a camper??? I’ve owned several starting when I had infants and toddlers,then middle to high schoolers plus their entire team, now all independent adults. If anyone is looking and pointing at my car ( as if 🙂 I’m having the last laugh….vans ROCK! And as far as moving things, I moved a queen bedroom set, dressers, mattresses, desk, cheval mirror, end tables, lamps, rough totes in one trip from PA to SC with nothing on the roof….. I wasn’t embarrassed that I didn’t have to pay to rent a U-Haul- Really???

    • quartzz20

      May 12, 2014 at 8:23 pm

      The Pontiac Aztek also doubles as a camper as it was designed for outdoor camping.

      • $23196659

        May 13, 2014 at 1:42 pm

        Aztec was designed? I thought it was just thrown together with parts from other vehicles.

      • Larry Cook

        May 19, 2014 at 11:52 pm

        So ugly that only their owner can come to love them.

      • Ronald Olson

        May 22, 2014 at 4:49 pm

        Wondering why it wasn’t at the top of this list.

      • disqus_v3SHzvCspj

        May 26, 2014 at 4:44 pm

        Probably the ugliest beast in the history of the world.

        • jr023

          May 29, 2014 at 8:54 pm

          the datson and toyota and mitsubishi with the motor between the seats not too good either

      • KarlJay

        May 28, 2014 at 11:25 pm

        Ah, the infamous chicken butt car.

    • carol brown

      May 15, 2014 at 4:30 pm

      ‘I’m sorry’. Couldn’t have said it better.

    • jr023

      May 29, 2014 at 8:53 pm

      the only problem i saw with the minivans was the original batch were good but of course the manufactures had to make them bigger heaver more options and made then too expensive and less economical i would like a new one like my 87 caravan 4cyl 5sp manual fun to drive 25 mpg much better than the ols sw i sold which got 9mpg

  7. Bob

    May 12, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    You don’t have a clue about the smart for two. It’s actually one of the safest cars on
    the road. It has a very high safety rating. When I called my insurance company for insuring it, they told me they had never seen a lower rate for a new

  8. Art Celeste Candelaria

    May 12, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    would rather have the Hummer..

    • Hummer Nation

      May 12, 2014 at 8:40 pm

      Right on!! I’ve been rockin a 2004 H2, and loving every minute of it! Save your money and buy one… Pi$$ on everyone else, if you don’t like it, get the hell out of my way!

      • Keeper

        May 15, 2014 at 4:51 pm

        Really? H2s are laughed at all over the “offroad” community. Urban yuppies who drive those boxes are jokes. Those things have less ground clearance than most smaller SUVs. I’d take my Ram over an H2 any and every day of the week.

  9. Drclaw99

    May 12, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    I have a Smart and love it. I always laugh when my passenger says “Wow-this is just like a normal; car”.

    Maybe we ought to worry less about what things look like, as opposed to what they do.

  10. TheWanderer

    May 12, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    hahahahah this is awesome already. PT Cruiser, and Maseratti Gran Tourismo have to be on there, just a guess before i turn the page

  11. rudedog4

    May 12, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    Judging from the fact that this is “Mens Magazine”, apparently you think that these cars are not manly? A real man DGAF what anyone else thinks about his car.

    • pbird

      May 12, 2014 at 7:50 pm

      Correct, of course.

    • $5870767

      May 14, 2014 at 9:27 pm

      I drove the minivan for 8 years/185,000
      I cared not what others thought. It was a vehicle that wore many more hats than any single purpose ‘cool mobile’ could. Thats all one can ask when you are limited to owing one vehicle. If I had the dough, I’d have the MV, a sports car, and a luxury out-on-the-town car….but alas…

    • rudedog4

      May 16, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      and for the record, I drive a Honda Element.

      • jimbon88

        May 16, 2014 at 5:54 pm

        That figures. Just proves you have no taste.

      • Djepic209

        May 23, 2014 at 6:33 pm

        Honda Element SC is a beast… I want one!

      • YMMV

        May 29, 2014 at 11:12 pm

        The Honda Element reminds me of Tonka toys, at least the way they were made, uh, 4 decades ago. I’m thinking it might have quite a cult following, even now – certainly another 30 years from now.

    • jimbon88

      May 16, 2014 at 5:53 pm

      The kind of man that doesn’t care what anybody thinks about his car is probably that same kind of doofus that doesn’t care if people catch him picking his nose. Picking his nose in his mini-van would be ideal.

      • Djepic209

        May 23, 2014 at 6:35 pm

        A kind of man that worries about what everyone else thinks usually has security issues.

    • Ihappydirt

      May 17, 2014 at 6:36 pm

      You know how much action a real man can get in a minivan?

      • Frisbee

        May 28, 2014 at 9:41 pm

        A real man always has the right car, and a minivan is never one of them.

        • RealMan

          May 29, 2014 at 8:59 pm

          Whatever car a real man is driving is the right car.

      • Guido Fawkes

        June 3, 2014 at 1:02 am

        A real man doesn’t depend on his car to make his moves for him. Frankly, real men are so rare these days they stand out like lighthouses anyways.

  12. Rudydear

    May 12, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    Maybe I am not up on the new urban male but as a mother of three sons the wispy tone and effete phrasing of the writer does not sound like that of any male men I know.

    • Chris

      May 22, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      as apposed to the female men you know?

  13. Samuel_B

    May 12, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    The author of this article needs to go back on his meds. He trashes the Nissan Cube and Honda Element yet fails to include the Kia Soul and the Scion xb, which are essentially just as boxy, on his list. The only valid inclusions on this list that I saw were the Suzuki X90 and the Smart Fortwo. I find it even more puzzling that the number one car on his list is the Chevrolet SSR when there are plenty of other retro styled cars that were executed even worse, such as the Chrysler PT Cruiser (which is probably what the author’s mother owns and what he drives) and Chevy’s own HHR. The Honda Crosstour isn’t that bad of a car either. Given the plethora of awful cars that have been built in the last 20-30 years he could have found better choices. I assume he didn’t limit his choices to currently produced vehicles because the SSR, Crosstour, and x90 have been gone for some time.

    • Ihappydirt

      May 17, 2014 at 6:35 pm

      Scion did the look first and best, but I agree that the Nissan and Honda aren’t uncool, if it matters. I thought the Pontiac Aztek would be on here, but they may not make them anymore.

  14. Jeanne

    May 12, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    Thanks for the list of some of my favorite cars.

    • Spamalot

      May 15, 2014 at 9:54 pm

      I thought: Pacer, Gremlin, wood paneled station wagon when I saw the title.

      • Larry Cook

        May 20, 2014 at 12:02 am

        Having had a Gremlin, a Pacer, and that wood paneled station wagon, in my lifetime, you drive what you can afford, and based on your personal needs. The station wagon, came when the ‘family car’ became too hard to load the twins into. It was a SS Chevelle 396, but impractical as a comuter toter. The other car at the time, even more impractical a Corvette. Try getting a car-seat into one of those sometime.

        • daryl F

          May 29, 2014 at 4:16 am

          When minivans look like this again, I’ll have one. Kudos to you for being ahead of your time.

  15. siltonmasks

    May 12, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    When I see smart car, I laugh because I think of the show Family Matters…and Steve Urkel specifically.

    • Spamalot

      May 15, 2014 at 9:54 pm

      A BMW Asetti front-ope! My brother still has his.

  16. albert

    May 12, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    The author of this story certainly did not do their homework. Its a joke of an article and completely one sided,its based on the view of a single person and what he likes,,,,,,,,waste of reading time

  17. Shaun Brooks

    May 12, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    This was a poorly written article that does no justice in describing the features of the vehicle.

  18. Wardswork

    May 12, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    ?12 cars…
    Style is for sheeples
    After 1991, redesigned, sleek Lincoln Towncar’s had an incredibly comfortable ride and nearly 27 MPG fuel economy

  19. Owl96

    May 12, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    If you do not want to be seen in a car, just wear sun glasses. All I need is a vehicle that can carry two people and camping gear. If it can carry a ton of other stuff when I need it, that is a plus. I work from there an look at a lot of cars when I am shopping for one. I expected my Hyundai 2009 Tucson to be on the list. I have owned cars from GM, Ford and Chrysler. I am very happy with my Hyundai. Everyone’s taste will very and everyone’s needs will very.

  20. phatkhat

    May 12, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    Nothing but looks? How foolish. A car is a major investment, and there is a lot more to it than looks. I was hoping for some actual substance, but I was disappointed.

  21. Joe Curmudgeon

    May 12, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    I love minivans. We’ve been without one for a few years and I’m eagerly anticipating one as our next vehicle. We still take family vacations, driving 700 miles one way and there is nothing to compare with a minivan.

    And… when I need to haul material for the house… who needs a truck? A 4×8 sheet of plywood lays flat on the floor (at least in a Chrysler).

    Woohoo!!! Minivans, you gotta love ’em. The ultimate statement that “I don’t give a rip what you think, I’m driving what I want.”

    • mylilelar

      May 12, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      Best van I have ever seen in my life is in the Philippines.
      A HiACE. I have no idea why they are not sold here.
      NOT A MINI VAN EITHER.

      • RIPTA42

        May 29, 2014 at 8:18 pm

        Maybe it will, given the success of the Daimler Sprinter, Ford Transit Connect, and Nissan NV in the U.S. Its baby cousin the LiteAce was sold here in the 1980s.

    • Laquisha Dwannae O'Reilly

      May 13, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      Gotta agree. Having owned three, I have to say that they are the most versatile, affordable, vehicle available.

      If you are too awesome to be seen in one, meh.

  22. bruce shand

    May 12, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    This may be the stupidest sentence in the whole article:
    “Minivans are popular, nonetheless, in spite of their inherent practicality,…”

    But what could one expect from an article whose theme is “worry about what others think”.

    • jimbon88

      May 16, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      It’s all hype. There is nothing a mini-van can do that a sporty station wagon can’t do, except in a station wagon, you look cool. Must be the reason Europeans prefer wagons instead of minivans. Eurpoeans prefer cars that handle well, not mini-vans.

      • Larry Cook

        May 19, 2014 at 11:49 pm

        Except in American marketing, the station wagon has gone the way of the dodo bird. So for comfort and utility, you are forced to turn to the minivans. Europe is not the USA, and we do not want autos like yours. We want autos that go the distance, in comfort, and still do so while sipping the gas. Got it?

        • RIPTA42

          May 29, 2014 at 8:10 pm

          SUVs replaced station wagons in automakers’ lineups because station wagons are “cars” and had to meet fuel economy standards, while SUVs are “trucks” and didn’t. Since the mid-2000s, when CAFE standards were extended to cover SUVs, wagons started becoming popular again – only they’re called “crossovers” now.

        • Leila

          May 29, 2014 at 8:49 pm

          I am not from Europe, but I’d much rather go with a station wagon than a minivan. I’ve seen many older ones, but I need a newer vehicle.

        • anonymous

          June 20, 2014 at 8:42 am

          Sorry to burst your bubble but, you have no idea what you’re saying. American car companies have always made gas guzzlers when compared to the Europeans, a 2002 vw or in other words GERMAN passat 1.8t front wheel drive can get up to 32 miles a gallon on the highway and 29 in town, how do i know this you may ask? I DRIVE ONE, and not only does it get good mileage but it also comfortably seats up to five and has enough room in the back you could put a small atv in the back, they have incredibly absorbent suspension AND most have a very forgiving leather interior with front seat warmers, not to mention they are one of the quietest vehicles ever made the only thing wrong with it is they are hard to work on and unless you make absolutely sure the parts are high quality they are prone to need work a lot starting right around the 100 thousand miles range.

      • NoLemmings

        May 22, 2014 at 7:02 pm

        I’m beginning to think you co-authored that silly article. Nothing? Are you serious? Can you roll a dirt bike or CBR 1000 into a station wagon? Thanks for playing. Next.

      • RationalGuy12

        May 22, 2014 at 7:49 pm

        Mini vans are much roomier and have a much larger cargo capacity.

        • disqus_v3SHzvCspj

          May 26, 2014 at 4:39 pm

          They’re generally lighter and better on mileage than SUVs which have truck chasses generally. Not so good in a wreck though.

      • jr023

        May 29, 2014 at 8:48 pm

        and there very few sw made in the usa one of the best imo was the ford focus sw i had several of them assigned as a co delivery car comfortable economic 200k life but ford discontinued them here in us-

  23. pbird

    May 12, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    I have driven a Honda Element in metallic sunset orange since 2005. I still love it. I think its cute, as do the many people who have come up and asked me about it. Somebody likes it…..

  24. tonye

    May 12, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    A pretty dismal list.. dismal in the writer’s reasons for not liking these cars. Not to defend those cars, but it would seem that looking “different” was the only reason. Yet, sometimes that’s exactly what draws people to these cars.

    How about SUVs? Where is the Prius?

  25. Hummer Nation

    May 12, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    What so silly about them? You will have to buy two smart cars to live the life span of one Hummer. It takes more environmental materials that are stripped from the Earth to make a smart car then it does a Hummer. Smart car batteries alone are more harmful than any pollutants the H2 will ever emit.
    You know what I think is silly? It’s the green eyed monster that grows in everyone who sees these beautiful vehicles, and bashes the ones who are driving them. Are you the one who bought it? Are you the one who can afford paying for the gas? No? huh… Go play in your tin can and leave us grown-ups alone! Oh, Psssst… they come in different colors

    • Euro Girl

      May 19, 2014 at 7:55 pm

      You’re talking about the batteries in an all electric SMART. Most SMARTS here in the US have regular car batteries and run on petrol.

    • m2cts

      June 1, 2014 at 11:37 pm

      Your statement about the Smart in general and its car batteries is completely baseless and false. Do you just make this stuff up or does Faux News feed you this garbage? EV car batteries will never end up in landfills. The manufacturer takes them back for proper recycling. Depending on how you purchase it the battery remains the property of the manufacturer.

  26. RogerNPsp

    May 13, 2014 at 12:44 am

    Yeah, a minivan is much cooler of course than this 442 olds wagon with positraction…. http://www.autotraderclassics.com/images/b/2013/06/26/820856/0_P1040686.JPG

    • Bill

      May 13, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      That’s sweet.

    • sign

      May 14, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      A Generic Cadillac.

    • $5870767

      May 14, 2014 at 9:28 pm

      very nice!

    • Larry Cook

      May 19, 2014 at 11:55 pm

      Sold one long ago, for the sum of one dollar. After I pulled the 455 Buick engine out of it, to transplant into my crewcab Chevy PU. Afterwards, could pull stumps, ski boat, and dune buggy, and do it all, using less gas than I did with the stock engine. But replaced it with a Ford Country Squire station wagon, a Canadian import, due to C.A.F.E. rules.

    • aelon

      May 22, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      Gorgeous!

    • disqus_v3SHzvCspj

      May 26, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      It’s cool NOW. Back then it was just another small bus.

    • DanielAMcAllen

      May 27, 2014 at 7:03 pm

      Vista Cruiser FTW!

    • rudedog4

      May 29, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      that wagon is sweet!

  27. James Cooke

    May 13, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    The first thing that makes me suspicious of this whole article and very curious about the author (and his/her mental condition!) is the frequent use of the word “embarrassing.” The author is definitely someone who does not wish to be noticed or to stand out in any situation. For instance, look for the way the writer tells other drivers to “keep their head down,” “wear sun glasses,” “choose less vivid colors,” and advises them to be ready to explain why they chose and drive such strange and poorly designed vehicles. Wow! Talk about head issues!

    • disqus_v3SHzvCspj

      May 26, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      Author drives a Toyota Corolla 4dr, brown, dented and listens to self-improvement TAPES.

    • helmsbusla

      May 27, 2014 at 1:08 pm

      Does beg to wonder what the writer drives, one of the “embarrassing” choices?

  28. barfight

    May 13, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    I think it is supposed to resemble an early 50’s chevy pickup

    • sign

      May 14, 2014 at 6:49 pm

      It’s only a dressed up Ford.

  29. TH20

    May 13, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    Most SUVs now a days are just macho’d up minivans that never get used for more than commuting and shuffling kids around with less efficiency, but I suppose they do satisfy the ego of the insecure male.

    • Bug S Bunny

      May 20, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      Along with many pickup trucks which carry nothing but air in the bed.

  30. Craig

    May 13, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    I guess none of you EVER owned a ’48 Studebaker (before the bullet nose).

    • Dusty Rider

      May 14, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      My dad had a new ’47, it was a good design for just after ww2, but lost out to, as you stated, better designs soon after.

    • Shirley Bootlip

      May 14, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      Nope- before my time Craig, but my parents had one and on the day I was born, my dad was so excited he went to get my mom flowers and he wrapped the car around a tree, he wasn’t hurt those cars were built well.

  31. topdog

    May 13, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    i’d add prius to the list.

  32. Dunnmovin

    May 13, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    The “Smart” car does not get real great gas mileage considering how small it is. Also, it’s 3 cylinder engine requires premium fuel which usually costs about 35 to 40 cents a gallon more than regular.

    • Euro Girl

      May 19, 2014 at 7:52 pm

      Even though they recommend premium gas it does just fine on regular. For the last 6 years I’ve been using regular and average 50 mpg. I absolutely love the convenience of driving the SMART. It can park anywhere, and I can put 10 bags of groceries and 2 large detergent boxes in the back. If this one ever fails, I will get another. Cheap to operate and it can’t get a flat.

      • SMichaelinRKE

        May 24, 2014 at 10:55 am

        I have owned one as well for about 4 years. I love it. Mine is a European model, so getting it serviced is sort of a hassle unless you know a local mechanic. Like you mine also gets on average 50 MPG (Mercedes turbo engine). It actually feels bigger inside than my Volvo C30, as I am 6’3”. Never feel afraid on the highway, and being a convertible, it is a great car to take to the beach.

        • daryl F

          May 29, 2014 at 4:07 am

          Dude! Did you just hit on her? Sweeet!

  33. JohnC

    May 14, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    Why did they post a photo of an ancient Lincoln town car? The later ones were smaller, more fuel-efficient, and handled better. Town Cars were among the best of the US automobiles.

  34. Reality_Bites

    May 14, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Wonder if maybe the author just titled the article incorrectly. 10 Cool cars.

    HHR is really slick vehicle. Corvette V-8, great sound, unique and sure to be future collectable.

    That Town Car in that era…were super sweet heavy boats. Quiet, smooth, fold down headlights and that monster grill. Very cool.

    Subaru is a fun car, great for outdoorsy stuff and again unique..which is a good thing.

    And station wagons are cool…they are the smart SUV. If you go to car shows…the old station wagons are sought after and super cool. Take a 92 EuroM5 Station Wagon over a M5 Sedan any day.

    So guessing a 95 Civic with muffler size of coffee can is cool?

    • fuzzball

      May 17, 2014 at 9:39 am

      I had a Town Car just like the one shown except I ordered it without the “port hole” window. It was great but I wonder about the sanity of a person who wonders about taking it in a camping trip as the author mentions. For that i had my dual rear wheel, four door, one ton Chevy PU.and for my young at heart adventures I just used my Pantera which i bought new for $9,000. Those were the good old days but still wife and kids…alas now I am in a 1991 Geo Metro convertible.

  35. Lady Light

    May 14, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    For many, to be practical, if the vehicle has four wheels that consistently turn to get us where we want to go, if it has a roof intact, if it has all sides and doors and windows intact, and if it’s clean, cool in summer, warm in winter…then that works and who cares what others think

  36. TangentToWhat

    May 14, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    My neighbor was given a cube as a loaner, and was the brunt of uncontrolled laughter from his friend. Hands down, the ugliest vehicle ever made. The perfect metro sissy ride.

  37. AppleBag

    May 14, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    I love how the suburbanites are wheezing poetic about their precious minivans. They’re a bold statement that any vestige of adventure or excitement has shuffled off, displaced by baby strollers, dirty diapers, and weekends at Bed Bath and Beyond.

    The sad reality is that your larvae are a symbol of your decrepit manhood. The mounds of toddler-launched cheerios and dried formula puke that you cite for reasons you’ll need a ride for your wife’s sanctioned “boy’s night out” are evidence that your minivan is a neon sign proclaiming just exactly how lame and pointless you are.

    You made those choices, and no matter how breathlessly you defend them as still being “manly,” we can still hear Thomas the Train playing on your pissed-in door speakers. But we can only barely hear it over the caterwaul of your brood. Enjoy that crapwagon, Shirley.

    • $5870767

      May 14, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      No one said they were manly..Did I miss something? No, Manly is not giving a Shtt about what something like you has to say about my choices.
      Being a parent, cleaning puke and cheerios, shuffling the “larvae” around to games…all things that make parenting the grand adventure that it is…..
      Quite alot better than going around as ‘applebag’ and bleating on and on from what I might guess is your parent’s basement…..
      I guess then, that your childless? Because your clueless on the ‘vestige of adventure or excitement has shuffled off…..’ part.

      Parenting , the subsequent choices and sacrifices , risks and rewards are what define us as adults and give you real insight as to what being a Man is.

      Enjoy your toys now, one day you’ll be wiser

    • Mike Boatman

      May 22, 2014 at 1:26 am

      You have certainly indicated through your pointless blithering that your manhood failed at the starting gate. A real man has a mini-van full of noisy kids, interior festooned with unidentifiable food stuffs and anointed with every variety of beverage a kid can sling and more than likely, dried puddles of puke under the floor mats.

      • Ken in Camarillo

        May 22, 2014 at 6:41 am

        And a heckuva lot of great family memories of trips to the beach, Disneyland, Yosemite, backpacking, climbing Mt. Whitney, skiing, Lake Powell, Zion, Havasu Falls, and plenty more.

    • John Richards

      May 27, 2014 at 11:40 pm

      That was pretty funny. Were you trying to come off as some sort of humorous parody of the manly man, or did you just unintentionally call yourself out?

  38. run from the gun

    May 14, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    This writer is so insecure. Your car does not make you. Your car gets you places.
    Grow Up.

  39. $5870767

    May 14, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    “Minivans are popular, nonetheless, in spite of their inherent practicality..”
    wait..what?

  40. bill

    May 15, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    I’ve owed a Smart Car since its US inception in 2008. Presently it has 75,000 town and highway miles. Obviously the writer never drove one or even been inside one. They are deceivingly spacious inside, passenger seat folds down, and the vehicle can hold many items. Safety rating is 5 star, with its steel NASCAR like cage. However i’ve often wondered how bigger cars get a lesser star rating.

  41. Judy

    May 15, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    I agree this article is dumb, the Honda Element, is great for handicapped people, easy to place your wheelchair in the back. They should mention that.

  42. Benjamin James Gilbert

    May 15, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    That Subaru Baja is awesome, are you sure you know what your talking about?

    • Astyanax

      May 18, 2014 at 11:14 am

      Can’t get anyone to buy yours?

  43. carol brown

    May 15, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    No doubt, some ugly cars, but my top twleve would be:

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

    minivan,

  44. Younanomous

    May 15, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    The Lincoln Towncar does look like it belongs to an older driver, but in the right hands, some people have made them look amazing with nicer wheels, higher grade paint jobs, and tinted windows.

    • joexzy

      May 16, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      A real pimp-mobile…

  45. dad in b-more

    May 15, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    I love my Crosstour.They are popular here in maryland. We don’t get strange looks when drive by.

  46. Tom Anderson

    May 16, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    Oh, the Hummer is controversial because if its “great gas needs”. Why the fuck is that anyone’s business what someone else gets for MPG? Say I have a neighbor with a Prius who claims he is all green, and drives to LA and back every day for work. He gets twice the mileage of my Hummer. But I work at home with no commute, so I do about 1/6 of the annual mileage that he does. Just who is green again? Anyone who has an issue with what someone else drives is a dick, plain and simple. Do people care if someone uses “too much A/C” in their homes? Not that I have heard of. Or takes too many vacations to “the river” with their boat or motorhome? Idiots all.

    • SMichaelinRKE

      May 24, 2014 at 10:58 am

      Because Tom it gets the gas mileage of a motor home. That is simply wasteful and environmentally irresponsible.

    • Spike5

      May 25, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Next time we go to war to ensure our nation’s gas supply, please remember that you think that’s just fine. And encourage your son to enlist because all Americans should be willing to die to protect your right to use as much oil as you please.

  47. Tom Anderson

    May 16, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    Oh, the Hummer is controversial because if its “great gas needs”. Why the f*** is that anyone’s business what someone else gets for MPG? Say I have a neighbor with a Prius who claims he is all green, and drives to LA and back every day for work. He gets twice the mileage of my Hummer. But I work at home with no commute, so I do about 1/6 of the annual mileage that he does. Just who is green again? Anyone who has an issue with what someone else drives is a dick, plain and simple. Do people care if someone uses “too much A/C” in their homes? Not that I have heard of. Or takes too many vacations to “the river” with their boat or motorhome?

  48. O hello

    May 16, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    Dear Author you are incorrect on 2 counts!

    1)The Nissan Cube is an interesting forward thinking design. It is vehicle to be different. It seems that the you missed the point and is part of the problem. Cars today are so hard to design due to legilslation and anytime a maufacture takes a risk with design we should encourage it. Otherwise we all should drive Accords and Camrys

    2) The town car is one of the most boring cars ever and that is the point. They are living rooms on wheels and that is what makes them great. However, they are also indestructible as underneath they are essentially crown vics. Anyone who has ever rented one of these knows that Crown Vics/ Town Cars do the most amazing burnouts. Just like a Timex watch they take a licking and keep on ticking!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iDE5R-KXQI

  49. nycityjj

    May 16, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    The Chevy SSR is one of my favorites of all time!

  50. BERTCHADICK

    May 16, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    The Honda Element is a regional favorite. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one in Washington (state) but when I drive mine in Texas I might as well be driving a flying saucer. The Element is a crossover built dedicated dog owners in mind.

  51. Dave Benjamin

    May 16, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    Element has been a fantastic car for me over that past 10 years and 164k miles. I can take the seats out and haul a bunch of stuff. It’s great for pets. I can tow a small trailer. The driving position is comfortable for long trips. It’s been totally reliable. Yes it’s boxy. And if you want to fit a lot of things, you use a box, don’t you?

  52. ROTFLMAO

    May 16, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    The Lincoln Town Car…Everyone borrowed one of these from their Aunt or Grandma to “take to the prom.”
    The Mini-Van along with the K-Car saved Chrysler and the mini van is probably the most popular vehicle on the road today

  53. Ron

    May 17, 2014 at 11:42 am

    It is flat out wrong to attack car manufacturers for taking a bold step to think outside the box. As consumers we demand innovation so let the creativity flow. Buying a type of car is an extremely subjective exercise so the fact one writer or even a group doesn’t like a particular feature who cares and move on.

  54. shpilk

    May 17, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    PT Cruiser not on the list? It’s by far the most ridiculous looking thing I’ve ever seen.

    • Spike5

      May 25, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      They were. But I used to rent cars 3-4 times a month, and I used to pick that one when they were available. Good visibility for short people, comfortable seating, decent mileage, reliable in cold weather. It all depends on what you need.

  55. rick

    May 17, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    Yeah if the sissy that wrote this article would have just stuck with the Smart car I would have agreed with him

  56. 48panhead

    May 17, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    I think this jerk is some elitist Euro want to be who has dreams of some day having mommy and daddy letting him buy a Mini Cooper. I’ll tell you what I had a 65 Lincoln black on black, on the ground with a 430ci motor that was anything but a “Old Mans Car” that car was bad assed and I wish I had it back.

  57. Jim White

    May 17, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    IDK, I looked pretty cool with a minivan full of women. As for the rest of the article, what true American male would be caught in a Porsche….unless he’s gay..?

    • Spike5

      May 25, 2014 at 12:41 pm

      Just realized that the only people I’ve known who owned Corvette sand Porsches were–women!

  58. Jay Melo

    May 17, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    You have obviously never been poor. I would happily take any of these new cars over the 20 year old POS I drive everyday. I live in fear of they day it falls apart because I can’t afford to fix it. and BTW the El Camino is a classic. Many people in my area drive restored ones.

  59. Mac Sterling

    May 17, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    Except for the Suzuki X90 this guy has no idea. He must be the editor’s idiot nephew, and we will never hear from him again (we can hope ‘cant we?)
    HOWEVER! how many of us read ALL ten reviews???

  60. Vicki

    May 18, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    People have different tastes…why else would there be so many different cars on the road? I agree that this is an idiotic article. Yes, I read it. I wondered what the taste of the writer might be. But, wait…why should I care?…anymore than I worried about what others thought when I bought any of the 20+ cars I have purchased. I do not drive any of the above mentioned vehicles, but I am sure there are people who hate the car I do drive. Then again, who paid for it? Case closed!

  61. James Horn

    May 18, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Juvenile. No discussion of performance or purpose. A couple of these vehicles may look clunky, but they appear to be designed to maximize capacity in a small space for congested urban areas.
    The minivan is also designed for practicality. Others are designed to reduce or eliminate fuel bills. While there do appear to be some designs here with little redeeming features, the overall approach is on appearance, with a strong dose of self-indulgent fashion snobbery.

  62. Ray

    May 18, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    I have a Smart Car and love it. I don’t feel any more unsafe in it than our Toyota Avalon. The Smart has front and side airbags, a steel frame and a roll bar and has lots of room for my large(220#) 6’2″ body. We have taken it from Council Bluffs, IA to Kansas City and the Denver area. You definitely don’t want to own one if you don’t like talking to people, as everywhere you go, they have a million questions. I enjoy talking to people, so I don’t mind. Had someone ask me this morning, ‘What if you got hit by a semi?’ and I just replied, ‘What if you got hit by a semi?’.

  63. yankee2

    May 19, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    “These cars can also come in some rather vibrant and bold colors. If you love intense colors, it might be best to choose another car to tool around in.”

    How does that make any sense?

  64. yankee2

    May 19, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    “There is also a preponderance of metal—too much metal on the bottom making the car seem heavy in the middle?” Too much metal… in a car? Isn’t that what cars are made of, mostly? What’s the alternative? Plastic? GRANITE? Should they have put more glass… on the bottom? These remarks are stupid.

  65. RDWalker

    May 19, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    I have disagree with the Subaru Baja – we have one, and we get compliments all the time – in fact a few people have asked they want one too. It’s a great car.

    • spentcasings

      June 2, 2014 at 8:58 am

      I’ve been driving one for 8 years. Absolutely love it! I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked if I’d be willing to sell. Never! No way! 🙂

  66. Work hard, invest wisely.

    May 19, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    Not very many H2’s around. Some people use them for what they were designed to do.

    • Larry Cook

      May 20, 2014 at 12:10 am

      What is that? Transport troops in warzones? The H2 is nothing more than a pick-up frame with the cool neat Hummer body placed on it. Real men, drive H1s. Full four wheel independent suspension, four wheel drive, and lots of travel clearence.

      • Ken in Camarillo

        May 22, 2014 at 6:20 am

        Agree, the H2 was to make it commercially practical I suppose, but it destroyed what made it a Humvee.

  67. StraightGuy

    May 19, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    I would any of the current Nissan/Lexus line – THEY are UGLY!

  68. DallasDad

    May 19, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    You’d have to be horribly insecure to select a vehicle based on other’s perceptions. It’s transportation, not a social statement.

    • LibertyDwells

      May 24, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      I agree with your first line. Your second, not so much. While I really don’t care about the “social statement”, my cars are a lot more to me than just transportation. A couple are part of the family…for the past 50 years. 🙂

  69. KewlDawg

    May 19, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    Pontiac Aztec didn’t make this list?

    • Ken in Camarillo

      May 22, 2014 at 6:18 am

      You win the thread!!!

  70. Larry Cook

    May 19, 2014 at 11:45 pm

    I read this article, and was stunned to see some of the cars posted. This article is nothing more than a yuppie’s take on something they will probably never be able to afford. The SSR for example, has a lot of the same features that made the Corvette such a powerhouse performer. And was never intended to be a run of the mill auto. The ones I have seen in my area, are owned by lawyers, and doctors.
    The mini-van has its uses, and when my kids lived at home, we put many a mile on ours, doing things as a family. The Baha, well, another auto that is built to fill a specfic need, and not for the run of the mill drivers. As were most of these autos. The Hummer was designed as a military replacement for the Jeep, yet became a status symbol for the wealthy. ETC. But the pan of all these autos is something I fail to understand. The writer posted their personal choiced, not a well researched article.
    This reader’s rating of the article is FAILED.

  71. Bug S Bunny

    May 20, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    The Baja is a great car; the two-toned paint can be fixed by any body shop (easily done). The Crosstour needs much bigger wheels/tires to make the proportions look correct (again, easily done). The Town Car? Wrong! How about ANY Buick? The H2? Wrong again; nothing says “GORILLA” and “in your face!” louder than a Hummer. One that missed the list: Toyota FJ Cruiser (what an abomination). Toyota Camry; do real guys drive Camrys?

  72. Jrigney

    May 20, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Are our egos so fragile that we care you sees us driving what?

    The Chevy SSR and Hummer H2, both discontinued, are going to be collector’s items someday, mark my words. They are unusual, they didn’t sell many, and yesterday’s commercial disaster is invariably today’s collectors item.
    Remember when everyone used to mercilessly cap on Edsel Owners? Try to find one of those today, in great shape with all the numbers matching…your jaw will drop when you find out what they are asking for it.
    Subaru Baja? Nissan Cube? These are very good cars.
    Minivans? When I go to another city and rent a car, I almost always try to rent a minivan, they’re the best-case scenario in a rental car.
    Lincoln Town Car? Really? When I come home, I always get picked up at the airport in a Town Car…what the hell could the problem be with that?
    Smart 4-2? Yes. those things are bad, but that’s not really the point to this blathering little article, is it?

  73. Tim Buun

    May 20, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    Drive what you like if you can afford to, if someone has a problem with it, tell them to shove it.
    I drive a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder GS, it is a convertible, when I was shopping for a car I looked for this model, when I need a new car I will look for another one.

  74. Kevin

    May 21, 2014 at 12:48 am

    I watched a show (I think Mythbusters) where the Smart Car was crashed into a cement wall at 70 mph. You could still open the driver’s door after the crash. Not my favorite car in the world, but well designed.

    • LibertyDwells

      May 24, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      Mythbusters has become a joke. If you want to see the results of a real “SmartCar” collision there’s a very recent one making the rounds on the ‘net. Head on with a minivan. The van doesn’t even look that bad but the “Smartcar” and its occupants were obliterated.

      It’s a simple issue of mass, and energy transfer(momentum). The “Smartcar” just isn’t big enough to protect its occupants.

    • Kevin

      May 25, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      Wasn’t Mythbusters. Go to Youtube and search ‘SmartCar Obliterated In Crash’

  75. Doctor Fine

    May 21, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    It is about time SOMEBODY in America noticed how goofy looking our cars are. Pathetic. And as for a Porsche (which looks like a squashed turtle) NO!

    I used to own a first gen XK-E. A ’65 GTO. What the H*ll has happened to American taste? You used to be able to purchase hot looking cars here. Now—meh.

  76. Jim

    May 21, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    My wife and I have a Honda Element. Yup, it looks weird. But we have 8 y/o twins and for an active family car, it is pretty much perfect. AWD gets us anywhere, the roof rack hauls our stuff, bikes on the back, and the big space between the front and back seats is perfect for changing (along with the deeply tinted back windows of course). We couldn’t be happier with ours and frankly, I’m never embarrassed to drive or ride in it and I’m far from a ‘white socks with sandals’ kind of guy.

  77. Bill Bradsky

    May 21, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    I agree with the cool factor on the minivan, but I would much rather be seen driving one, or even better a wagon, than in the pretentious SUV with absolutely no off road use intended, which is to say 90% of them. Minivans will be better on fuel, will handle better and be safer overall for the kids you’ll inevitably be hauling in them because of lower center of gravity and less likelihood of rollover in crashes. On that note I wish wagons were more prevalent. I like them for all of the same reasons as the minivan, but more so. Better handling, better fuel mileage, safer, less pretentious.

    • tonye

      May 21, 2014 at 6:41 pm

      Yes on wagons.

      After four Honda Odysseys in a row, the family grew up so now we’re on our third Acura TSX Wagon. Love that car.

      Of course, Honda just got rid of it.

  78. JReaS

    May 21, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    The Town Car pictured is about 37 years old. If you were driving that car in 1977, you were definitely NOT embarrassed.

    What an awful article.

  79. torr10

    May 21, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    If you have to ask what the SSR is, perhaps you shouldn’t have a driver’s license. I owned a Toyota Trailblazer. It was the prototype for the Forerunner. I got asked that question lots of times…and look how popular the SUV has become…bad research on the writer’s part.

  80. Robb Dennis

    May 21, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    I have a minvan, crossover, and a ’66 Vette… I drive the minivan every day…

  81. JPickel

    May 21, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    Whoever wrote this must have been hurting for inspiration. Some of the cars haven’t been built in years.

  82. Mike Boatman

    May 22, 2014 at 1:15 am

    SUV’s come up in the conversation. “Sport Utility Vehicle”. What “sport” are those full size vans supposed to participate in? They can have a trailer hitch installed making them somewhat of a “utility” vehicle but “vehicle” cannot be denied, yes they are. Take a Suburban van, dress it up fancy and voila, SUV. LOL!

  83. bill c

    May 22, 2014 at 9:48 am

    You used to be able to lease a X90 for zero down and $99 a month.

  84. Tom Servo

    May 22, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    This article was mis-titled. It should have been called “10 cars that I personally don’t like”.

  85. dandy

    May 22, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Terrible list

  86. amp

    May 22, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    i drive a manual AWD turbo baja and i love it, glad i could care less what anyone else thinks.

  87. Ronald Olson

    May 22, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    The X-90 seemed to be popular around here. You could buy them dirt cheap new and they have 4-wheel drive, something that comes in handy in Michigan in the winter.
    The author is wanting something that stands out in a crowd while others need something more utilitarian that gets the job done dependably.
    The H-2 is just an overpriced Tahoe. The HHR has its own niche, people who aren’t too tall or short as the seats don’t move. A Mustang is about useless also as there is no backseat room so figure it as a 2-seater.

  88. RationalGuy12

    May 22, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Got used to Siennas when we had kids on soccer teams. But now that our boys are both in the military, we just bought another (our third) Sienna. Test drove other SUVs and cross overs but we just didn’t think they were as good as a Sienna. I guess any body who worries about more about what other people think than what best meets their needs just haven’t matured yet.

  89. Bored

    May 22, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    The Suzuki X-90 looks like a giant pimple that needs to be popped.

  90. Chris

    May 22, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    Sorry to pile on, but this was a really poorly written article. I think a more interesting take on this would have been to identify some cars that are stereo-typically not cars men would want to be scene in, but then explain why they are actually great cars.

  91. Arnold Schumacher

    May 22, 2014 at 10:46 pm

    The minivan is as manly a vehicle as anything else out there. yes, we bought a 1996 Dodge Grand Caravan primarily for our growing family. But long after the kids had gone off to college, we were driving that minivan to haul just about anything a pick-up truck could carry. Extremely comfortable and fun to drive too. And oh by the way, we lived in the UK for eight years while I was in the USAF and the minivan came with us. Nearly half of the 220K miles on the vehicle were driven all over Europe. Many Europeans asked us where they could get a car like that! After 16 years, we finally had to take it to the junkyard in 2012. Best vehicle I’ve ever had.

  92. ConstantReader

    May 23, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    Uh, sorry, but Lincolns are becoming very collectible as are the Subarus and Suzukis because of their rarity. You wouldn’t have them as daily drivers, but great for car shows.

  93. David L. McMillin

    May 23, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    If driving on vacation or family trip mini-van is often needed. Why bust on practicality? Smart car at $20k is embarrassing to pay that much for so little! Wonder what the author of this article drives? DeLorean?

  94. CarGuy

    May 23, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    This cute little ride was designed to look like the Chevy pickups of 1946-54. Also, it’s sibling is mimicking the early Suburbans of the same years

  95. jjmoose

    May 23, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    no its 10 cars YOU wouldnt want to drive,,mind your own Vuking bidness

  96. Dr. C Armani Trosclair, III

    May 23, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    This article is totally out of concept and definitely not coming from someone who really knows automobiles. Of course, it seems to be quite opinionated in it cirrent form. The very first car I drove was a 78 Lincoln town car and I drove it and tell three years while in high school. I was never question as to whether or not it was my grandparents are which it was that particular card. Gave me insight into what American car manufacturers and builders could do. Yes, why it is a very stately car. It was also a awesome drives in the ride even steal today is second to none. I recently purchased a 79 model as a collector, and though I drive a Jaguar XF and a Lexus LS 460 as daily drivers in most cases. This car still demands respect and attention with its 460 in.³ engine and fuel economy that averaged 16 in the city and 18 on the highway with cruise control. Not sure what the point of the article is, but I thought I would weigh in as a faithful Lincoln owner. And Lincoln if you are seeing this. We want our town car back with a twin turbocharged V8 and soon the MKS is a Ford Taurus.

  97. Buddy

    May 23, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I see men actually driving a Prius..
    who ever thought that was a car for a man?

    • studi30

      May 27, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      A girly man.

  98. ALAN GREENE

    May 23, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    Holy *SMOKES*, that is one poorly written article! It looks transliterated (I can only assume the author is NOT a native English speaker). Regardless of the horrible grammar, content and spelling mistakes, he/she is right: These are some of the ugliest cars ever built. The only one they forgot was the number one, hands-down winner by most automotive publications and journalists: The Pontiac Aztec is known throughout the world as World’s Ugliest Car. (Google it if you don’t believe me).

    • studi30

      May 27, 2014 at 1:22 pm

      I call the Pontiac the Azzkick.

  99. LibertyDwells

    May 24, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    The SSR and most TownCars are extremely popular collector items and get nothing but positive attention from people on the street. That 13 year old girls and Porche Posers, for whom the article appears to have been written, might not like them is irrelevant. And where’s the Aztek on this list? As well as half the BMW’s and every Volvo ever made? And the Prius. Talk about a cliche.

  100. Peter Bowman

    May 24, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    This person didn’t know cars….too obsessed with Mr. Blackwell’s who’s in ‘n out list!

  101. JOHN

    May 24, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    When Lifestyle reporters,(I use the term reporter loosely) attempt to be automotive journalist, it just doesn’t work. Why on earth would you include a Lincoln Town Car of that vintage in this article, it’s just poor crafting of a story. As for the rest of the ill-informed article it is just bluster with no sound automotive basis! And one last thing if a particular vehicle serves the needs and wants of a buyer, that’s all that matters!

  102. John Chellemi

    May 24, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    My Honda Element had 365,000 miles when i traded it in. It needed new schocks, struts, brakes and tires but the engine still ran perfectly. I went through 3 sets of brakes, 4 sets of tires and only 3 tune ups in 10 years! It came with a 300 watt stero and 8 inch sub. Probably the best value and most fun I will ever see in a vehicle.

  103. Jaketh

    May 24, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    This article is an example of what’s wrong with many American consumers; it’s all about style and image (and ego) – function follows form. Visit another country, and you’ll see an array of practical vehicles that would never sell in the States. In my 51 years, I have owned 18 cars of all different types. The three best are two Honda Elements and a minivan. Functional, versatile, practical, and inexpensive.

  104. pete

    May 25, 2014 at 12:34 am

    I have a friend who hosts and SSR rally in Maggie Valley, NC. every year. Don’t tell those people they should get rid of their car, but if you have one for sale….

  105. pete

    May 25, 2014 at 12:37 am

    The Cube is different, very different to be sure. Lots of people will like it just because of that. There are a lot of cars, clothes, and hairstyles for that matter which do not fit my taste but I appreciate people who push the boundaries and keep things interesting.

  106. pete

    May 25, 2014 at 12:42 am

    My gripe with the Smart is that you give up so much performance and comfort in the pursuit of fuel economy, yet it doesn’t deliver best in class there either.

  107. pete

    May 25, 2014 at 12:44 am

    To me, the Baja is a miniature version of the Honda Ridgeline.

  108. Melody M Haddox

    May 25, 2014 at 10:01 am

    I have a Chevy SSR, and it is the most comfortable and drives like a dream, I have no complaints, it’s black with Chrome Wheels and it is fun, lots of fun. So please don’t knock the SSR. I have been driving it for many years with no problems and I have met a lot of people via this vehicle. I love talking about it. It’s rare and I plan on keeping it. I’ve had Corvettes (4) and those are hard to get in and out of unless you are 17. My SSR has a L2Corvette Engine so I still have a piece of a Corvette, a big piece.

  109. Monser Perez

    May 25, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    what a bunch of elitism crap. The writers problem (and millions of others too) is that their miserable life is validated by objects of status, because apparently their life is not worth anything. I never had one of those cars, but now I’m going to find one and buy it. Who cares what people think? 85% OF PEOPLE ARE STUPID ANYWAY; they live & act in accordance with the opinion of others who are also very stupid: religious leaders, politicians, neighbors, TV; and the rest of the sick and disgusting news media.

  110. mcjenny

    May 25, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    I have a Smart and I love it!

  111. draysum1234

    May 25, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    For those who are now too embarrassed to drive your SSR I will be glad to take it off your hands at no charge..

  112. DES

    May 25, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Gee everybody, if I don’t like it, you should not drive it. It might upset me. He wants everybody to conform with his perfect world. He’s probably older than 14, physically. Mentally, a 5 year old spoiled kid. Personal choice only matters if he agrees.

  113. lalaland

    May 25, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Anybody that doesn’t want to be seen in a Hummer H2 must be a girly boy.

    • John Richards

      May 27, 2014 at 11:44 pm

      I think they are really funny in a suburban setting, but it would be fun to drive one!

  114. Chuck

    May 25, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    Mini vans are for nerds. All you mini van drivers just except it. They should have included a Prius. No self respecting man would be seen in one.

    • MarylandBill

      May 27, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      If by man, you mean a male who is more interested in his image and fun than in accepting the responsibilities of adulthood and caring for his family (which ultimately means putting their needs and desires above his own), then I suppose you are right.

      A true self respecting man could care less what others see him driving because once you respect yourself, you don’t need to worry about what others think of you.

      • [email protected]

        May 27, 2014 at 11:48 pm

        You are exactly backwards. Drivers of Prius’s are obsessed with how they are viewed. So much so that they buy such a vacuous argument about saving the planet by using coal fired electricity just to be thought to be “concerned.”

    • John Richards

      May 27, 2014 at 11:43 pm

      When do you graduate from high school?

  115. Reality Check

    May 26, 2014 at 12:41 am

    I think that the cube is the dorkiest car period. I would rather drive the obvious omission – the Aztec – than a cube. If I had a choice between driving the cube or the aztec, I’d take the bus.

  116. Tommy Tuttle

    May 26, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    What’s beyond embarrassing, what’s truly sad, is being so insecure that you have to base your car choices on what other people might think of you.

  117. Stephen

    May 26, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    I don’t even own a car – I’d love to have any of these.

  118. derfelcadarn

    May 26, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    I find your criticisms on many of these vehicles to be vapid and juvenile, it does mesh quite well with the rest of your publication

  119. Skeets k

    May 26, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    I’ll tell you what,, if you have an SSR, or the Lincoln, or the H2,, I’ll take them off your hands,, about a 100 bucks a piece cause I surely wouldn’t want to cheat you, and you wonldnt have to be driving one of those things,, the ricers yeah you can keep the other 3 I’ll take

  120. Alexander Ebon

    May 26, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    Frankly not many of these vehicles I would consider embarrassing. Though i do feel a smart car is rather unsafe if your commute takes you along the same routes as larger freight vehicles. These cars are breaking away from the cookie cutter trend the most cars have fallen into that then want to be take as “bold” and the “New style trend”. Its nice not having to stare at about 3 decades of cars with sight changes in them. “Ohhhhh woooow like the fender has a slight curve upper word WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!”. If at the very least it looks like a designer actually tried to do something (Exception of the cube genre of cars). Now if you talking fuel efficiency as a embarrisment well the doesn’t exactly fall into place in this article being it is about ascetics. Last note, Minivan the design is to hard to play with being that is more bought out of necessity or functionality than anything else. It has no place in the article or you might as well thrown in Econo-line vans as being a design laughing stalk (can see how though work vehicle).

  121. jdb

    May 26, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    the author needs to check the used car prices of SSR’s. low mileage 2006 SSR’s are near the original MSRP. even high mileage 2003-04 models are expensive. the author
    might not like the SSR looks but they have a good following.

  122. fhsmct

    May 27, 2014 at 2:29 am

    They couldn;t find a picture of a current model Lincoln?!
    And, whomever posted the Olds wagon, they were known as Vista Crusiers for the sky vision those tinted roof windows offered . . .

  123. studi30

    May 27, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Why would the author include a Lincoln that is from the 80s and 90s? I would love one to go to car shows with.

  124. Thomas Day

    May 27, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    And why pick on the Lincoln Town Car? Besides they were showing a fifteen year old model of the car. Heck, finding one to drive today would be difficult. The Town Car is no longer offered today.

    • RIPTA42

      May 29, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      Fifteen? It’s 35 years old!

  125. Scot

    May 27, 2014 at 6:23 pm

    Best vehicle I ever owned was my 04 Honda Odessey. 240 Horse power, decent handling all the room i needed for my growing kids. Rear entertainment system and good sound. It was very well engineered and after several cross country trips to colleges and a daily slog to work i appreciated what other uninformed people snickered at. I would still have it if not for an unfortunate accident. the insurance company wrote it off.

  126. DanielAMcAllen

    May 27, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    Most of these vehicles you wouldn’t want to drive because they suck. But the SSR is an interesting looking truck with a kick ass engine and a retractible hardtop. Nothing to be ashamed of there. The Element is a very practical if somewhat odd looking CUV, but nothing to be embarassed about. And finally, the whole reason for including minivans as a group is the sort of thing that teenage boys come up with. Since this is supposed to be a magazine for men I would hope that anyone who considers himself a mature man would recognize the value and practicality of a minivan and not buy some stupid farm vehicle SUV just because minivans aren’t ‘hip’.

  127. kendunn

    May 27, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    “It (Honda Element) has delusions of being a sort of Land Rover mimic, but it falls quite short of that goal.” Yeah, it actually has an electrical system that won’t leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere.

  128. RavviOli

    May 27, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    I had a Town Car that looked like this. That was almost 40 years ago. Loved it. But it was still a Ford. It wore out just like all the rest. At 127,000 miles it was past time for the recycle bin.

  129. John Richards

    May 27, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    I thought the article was kind of silly, but there is a good point…there seems to be a dearth of fun affordable cars under $30K that appeal to men, excepting pickup trucks which are poorly adapted to suburbia/city life. The Rav4…ok, but a little citified and cutesy… the XV is a good commute car for areas with snow and such, but could use some power… the WRX looks fund to drive, kinda boring to look at and small – with my knees, I want something a bit higher. Am thinking of a 4-Runner for my next car. Having trouble trusting the old big 3 any longer, though some of them have some nice styling.

  130. ???

    May 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Id drive 5 honestly. It doesn’t even look that bad really, none of these cars are really that bad.

  131. chuckles

    May 28, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    I own a 2000 Lincoln and find it a very good car. It’s comfortable and gets 24 mpg with the 4.6. To own a vintage Lincoln is really a status symbol now. I’ve owned several over the years and wish I still had a couple of them. Frankly, I can’t figure why they quit making them. I had a 4 cyl Toyota Carolla that barely got 24 mpg most of the time, never over 26 mpg. Hmmm,….Lincoln or Toyota on a trip,…I chose Lincoln.

  132. rich

    May 28, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    As a father of 3 kids me and the wife had little choice but to get mini vans. They were roomy and could hold allot of stuff. But now that 2 are in college and the third is 16 and driving his own car, me and her are now happy that we could dump the mini van and get 2 regular cars instead of just 1.

  133. Terry GodLion

    May 28, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    LOL, the SSR’s are SUPER popular, and are bringing BIG bucks.Just TRY and find one for sale and check out the price.
    At auctions they are bring $25/26k.

  134. Terry GodLion

    May 28, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    Another FOPAH, the Lincoln Town Cars are VERY expensive now,of that era, and a relatively low mileage one(even one with lots of miles),in great shape will cost more than it ever did new.
    Also, if you live in a large urban area, tons of idiot drivers and sppeders.
    It pays huge dividends to be the largest thing that’s capable of saving your life where not a lot more will.

  135. chrissybayby

    May 28, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    I have owned a Lincoln Town Car exactly like the one pictured for 23 years, and when I was a toddler, it was to me what the Lamborghini was to every other little boy. My uncle and my parents drove cars like that, and when I was a junior in high school, my dream came true. This car is the ultimate highway cruiser, and provided me and my friends lots of fun going clubbing locally and across the border into Canada. She’s a real attention getter, and I always get many compliments from everyone. I still own her today, and she still looks like brand new, with mostly original black paint, original black vinyl top, original engine, and (READ) 170,000 miles. While Lincoln is my preferred brand, there are ones I seriously wouldn’t be caught dead in, namely the Versailles and the 1980 – 1984 Town Car. I would do whatever I had to to get my dead body out of there! lol.

  136. $11290429

    May 28, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    How about commenting on things other than appearance? Reliability, affordability, things that really matter. only kids and negros use cars strictly as a status symbol. Like the expression goes, either they drive it or where it.

  137. memecman

    May 28, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    I bought a new Honda Element in 2004 and loved it. I put 287,000 miles on it in 9 years with nothing but standard maintenance on it. I live in the northeast and it handled great in the snow with the all wheel drive. Was it a beautiful car?! Nope, but being in sales it was reliable and I never worried about what was happening with the weather. You could take out a back seat or fold it up on its side and load plenty of golf clubs or luggage. The odd thing was that the sunroof was over the backseat. Not sure what they were thinking about with that. I suppose if you used it for a camper you could look at the stars laying down…although I never did that. They stopped making them 2 years ago or I would have bought another one.

  138. Frisbee

    May 28, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Great article. Well written, but, the mental midgets will find it disturbing because there aren’t enough small words in it. What the hell was GM thinking (oh, that’s right, they don’t) with the SSR?! What a silly sad looking thing. In fact, at least the Thing had some character. This moronmobile was ugly when it came out and only gets uglier as time goes by.

  139. Frisbee

    May 28, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    The car is Smart. That’s its name. But, anyone who buys one definitely is not.

  140. TennKi

    May 28, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    I own two of these vehicles, the SSR and a Minivan. The SSR is one fun vehicle to drive and enjoy. With the convertible hardtop you have the best of both worlds and if you go on a trip you have great storage in the back. It is also a future collectible but i didn’t buy it for that reason – it is one very cool retro vehicle. Obviously the author has never driven one. The minivan is incredibly practical, comfortable and eats up the miles on long distances without missing a beat i.e. comfortable, reliable, holds a lot, reasonable gas mileage and versatile. While not a sports car, it was never designed to be one. What is wrong with the author – obviously not someone who follows cars or has any sense or knowledge about them. While I may not like some of the cars he picked, they are mostly reliable vehicles designed for specific purposes.

    A lot of men have families and place their safely and needs above their own wants and a safe reliable vehicle is important. At some point a man maybe able to buy a vehicle that he enjoys and that is great, but none of this was taken into account by the author of this article.

    Cars I don’t want to own are unreliable ones that end up costing too much to keep on the road and makes you question if you will break down every time you go on a trip. if I can have a fun, enjoyable (and reliable) vehicle for myself, after ensuring family is taken care of, and it is a modern hotrod then all the better.

  141. magic1114

    May 29, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    My grandson has a Nissan Cube and reading that it’s being compared to a school bus made me laugh because I asked him when he bought it if he had bought the proverbial “short bus” and had the yellow paint covered over!

  142. kirk

    May 29, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    I have actually seen a smart car between two semi trucks. semi trucks suffered no or almost no damage. the lead truck had some form of steel thing that went to a foot off the ground to the smart car turned into a unsmart beer can real quick.
    two fatalities, both in the car.
    lead truck driver wasn’t even aware that he had been in an accident and thought he had driven over something. the following driver (who shouldn’t have been at fault) was following when the lead driver had to stop suddenly, the “smart” car darted in between them and got crushed.
    I wouldn’t own one if they came equiped with money.

  143. kirk

    May 29, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    Town car, class on so many levels.

  144. GetASpine

    May 29, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Real men don’t give a s*** what other people think they look like behind the wheel of their car. In fact real men don’t give a s*** what other people think…PERIOD.

  145. jr023

    May 29, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    the smart car for two is not too safe as for the h2 if you need trailer towing or rough road capability not too bad too much for just trans but most buy what suits them and if its not popular a used one makes a good buy if you run them till they die

  146. Bert Sterling

    May 30, 2014 at 7:02 am

    The SSR just has a funkiness and a nerdy kind of coolness that will make it a cult classic. If Chevy would have only put the better LS-series engines in it to begin with, it might have lasted a while longer, maybe even long enough to get the monster LS7 and LS9 engines. And maybe it could have had some weight shaved off it, too. It was heavier than a base extended-cab Silverado.

    Still, it is unlike anything on the road, and it is definitely a good investment to keep and drive.

  147. Bert Sterling

    May 30, 2014 at 7:07 am

    The Honda Element was definitely a new element on the periodic table. Fuglium. That thing looks like the bastard step-child of a Pontiac Aztek and a toaster.

  148. bigholmes7

    May 30, 2014 at 8:08 am

    Hey,
    I have a convertible and a busty blond and they are BOTH FUN TO BE AROUND!!!!!!!

  149. bigholmes7

    May 30, 2014 at 8:12 am

    my 8000# ford excursion gets thirty miles to the gallon of diesel, so don’t knock the big toys. A lot of mpg is how you drive……

  150. SPQR

    May 30, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    I have a Ferrari and an old tiny Fiat 500. Drive the latter, and you’ll make more female friends than you ever imagined. So tell me, what’s the REAL “chick magnet?” We men have a lot to learn.

  151. norm1951

    May 30, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    You know a chick flick when you see it and you know a chick car when you see it. A fluff article but then this isn’t scientific American your reading.

  152. madanthony

    May 31, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    Or maybe, you know, you should just drive what you like and not care what other people think.

    The Cube, Element, minivans, ect, are big boxes. They aren’t the best looking vehicles, but they are practical and hold a lot at a reasonable price. The Smart makes sense for a very small number of city dwellers who need an occasional car that fits in small spaces and are driving primarily in city traffic.

    And the SSR, while not a good new car buy, is a great used car bargain. There are a ton of used ones out there with very low milage at a price that is pretty great for a convertible with a 400hp Corvette V8 (in the newer models).

  153. colq101

    May 31, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    the best data compiled for this story is “this car seems like”

  154. Robert M Ferriter

    May 31, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    If your worried about your vehicle defining who you are as man or a woman, you really do have some issues with gender identity. I can agree with many that post here that only a teen age adolescent boy would see anything relevant at all in this article. I own several vehicles, drive whatever I want to drive, big or small and I could care less if people think it’s macho or NOT.

  155. Tom Watson

    May 31, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    nonsense

  156. Jt_flyer

    May 31, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    The 2 seat jellybean Smart Car gets 38 mpg on the highway. The relatively spacious (by comparison) 4-5 seat, honda Civic 41mpg. I ask why anyone would drive one regardless of gender.

  157. Suke Mahpeen

    May 31, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    These are the exact types or cars to buy used, ones that lost a lot of their value already. Buying a newer used Honda is stupid, as you pay almost full price.

    AN SSR is a cool ride, it was just way overpriced new. Yeah its too heavy and not practical too…but it looks cool.

  158. Suke Mahpeen

    May 31, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    Honda Crosstour looks better than a another freaking ghetto Escalade…

  159. Mike Martens

    May 31, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    The SSR is obvious; a two seater convertible (semi) sports car with a really big boot.

    😉

  160. Jmack

    May 31, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    Mini Vans are wonderful — are u nuts? Millions with large families, disabled family members, and many other reasons they want plenty of room, will buy a mini van. I wish I had one every day….I miss the one I had that I traded for an SUV.

  161. Sean McCloy

    June 1, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    I drive a Prius one reason MONEY the national average MPG is 20 that is all. So I compare my car to the national average. According to my numbers if I drive my Prius 300 K miles I will have been paid $10K driving the Prius. 200 K miles I break even. Not a bad deal buy a car drive it 200K miles and you break even and still have a car that will get many more miles. A car that can serve as a generator. A car that I put a tow hitch on and tow a trailer with it. Sure I get 20 mpg towing but I can do it I can tow a trailer to a camp site and leave it there and enjoy 45mpg. Google prius RV there are people that live out of their prius they literally sleep in their car and travel the nation and get around cheaper than what the bus train or plane would cost and have a place to sleep to boot. The car is reliable too I have driven over 150 K miles not one break down. Car would not start because I did not replace the 12 volt battery but that was 6 years into it I was suppose to replace it at 4.

    • bill_a_bob

      June 2, 2014 at 8:51 pm

      I drive a 1997 F250 that gets 12 mpg. The money I save over a high priced hybrid now goes to gas so your argument is a wash. I probably get a lot more leg than a hybrid owner as well . . . .

  162. moi2u

    June 1, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    I totally agree–unless I’m in Paris, France or other European city where it’s seriously inconvenient to drive anything bigger than a small box or egg shell, I wouldn’t be caught driving (or even seen as a passenger in) Any of these vehicles. Even then, there are better options, as the article points out! Oh, and I’ll add the Chevy PT Cruiser and any other model that resembles it! These are either too ‘boxy’ or too ‘eggshell’ or seriously dated (my soccer-mom Minivan days are history). If ‘gifted’ to me I would sell asap, and I’m 55! 😉

  163. TeeCee656

    June 1, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    First of all I’m a MAN in his sixties, and have had many cars. From Corvettes, to S-Class Mercedes, as well as Accords to VW Camper Vans. I don’t like low cars because they’re too hard to get in and out of, and the forward visibility is poor. I also have hobbies, like snow skiing, and fishing and boating. Front wheel drive doesn’t work on a launch ramp, especially with 3 tons of boat and trailer. Being over 60, I could care less what others think, what is important, is that a vehicle is reliable, comfortable, practical and meets your needs. Happiness is an inside job, and no one really gives a sh*t about what you drive.

  164. NavyCorpsman42

    June 2, 2014 at 12:17 am

    I’d love to have that HUMMER or SSR

  165. Bob

    June 2, 2014 at 2:03 am

    This simplest way to add cache to a minivan is to strap a surfboard on top. I’ve seen it. It works. It’s the only time I wanted to be the guy in the minivan…and I’ve got two.

  166. Grumpy Ol Fart

    June 2, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    I love my Honda Element. Best vehicle I have ever owned.

  167. Jonus Hk

    June 2, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    The Element although discontinued, is a highly ranked used car under $7000.

  168. RichardRoark

    June 2, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    Honda Element is way cool! Especially the orange and black. I do not own one, but I like them. They are funky! Much better then generic SUVs…and every surface is wipable! Great if you have dogs and kids!

  169. thetnrebel

    June 2, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    Minivans are popular, nonetheless, in spite of their inherent practicality, but they are also polarizing… what in crap is the writer talking about.. if you have a family with children.. this is the vehicle you want. I have had a couple, they are great for hauling stuff, up to 10 people .. they can do thing cars can not..

  170. Curt Leake

    June 3, 2014 at 5:33 am

    My buddy had a Town Car that could hit the BIGGEST speed bumps at 70 mph and you could barely feel a thing. It was HUGE and smooth. My wife wouldn’t go near a minivan ever, never, no way to this day.

  171. DaGrump

    June 24, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    Okay, with the exceptions of the Yugo, Trabant, and (maybe) Cimmaron, I did not see a single vehicle on this list that I would be afraid to drive (and in fact I have actually owned a number of these vehicles). You don’t buy an Excursion or a Hummer to get good fuel mileage, You don’t have a Bricklin or Lagonda because you want to fit in….. I wish more cars had distinct “flavors” rather than the amorphous blobs we see lined up on car lots today………………….. How many 2014 model cars will end up as “Hagerty Classics”?

  172. Sam300

    October 27, 2014 at 11:46 am

    I like the Cube and Element.

    I will never buy an American manufacturer name brand. Chrysler is Italian owned now but their vehicles were junk before and if anything are worse now.. Ditto for GM vehicles. Some Fords are OK but no Ford lasts as long or as reliable as a Honda or Toyota. It is like American cars start falling apart early.

    As for the ugliness of a vehicle….this guy doesn’t like minivans. Minivans are ugly. Sedans are all ugly and impractical. They are large and rounded at the edges like a turd is pinched off before dropping in the toilet. Almost ALL vehicles with a trunk look like that. There is not much that distinguishes them. Volkswagen Passats are good looking cars but VW vehicles are junk and getting them serviced is expensive. – not worth it unless owners know how to do the work themselves.

    So this guy doesn’t like the vehicles that don’t look like rounded pinched off turds. So what. Buy what you want. I want reliability and a long lasting cars so that includes the Cube and the Element. I know older people with a Kia Soul – also a very reliable vehicle which is squarish. . They love it. I’d rather have a Cube, Element or Soul than a blah sedan or a minivan.

  173. Magic Juan

    December 10, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    I had a friend in college that told folks he drove a red vette, which he did, a red Chevette. Might not have been what they were thinking though.

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