12 Life Skills You Need to Call Yourself a Man

Real-man

There was a time in American history when a man was a man, and the rest of the world knew it when they looked at him. Sure, there were negative aspects to society at that point in time, but it was nice to know what made a man a man. The world needs men of action to get things done, and unfortunately American society is becoming increasingly sedentary and men are losing their manliness.

No one is suggesting society needs to return to an age when sexism was rampant, but rather that we need to rediscover a few life skills that most modern men have lost that make them a little less manly. These tips are easy for every man to adopt and will help put the man back in mankind.

1. Getting a Busy Bartender’s Attention

There is nothing more impressive to a woman than a man of action whose confidence gets things done, and the quicker the better.

When you are out on the town at a bar or nightclub, one of the toughest tasks can be getting drinks quickly for yourself and/or your company for the evening.

Each and every night bar patrons watch as a line of less than confident men gather along the bar waiting for the bartender’s attention.

Rather than join the flock of happy-go-lucky fools, take the initiative and go get that bartenders attention. At this point you’re probably thinking “if these guys haven’t done so, how can I?” It’s simpler than you think.

For starters, pick the right spot. Don’t just slide up to the bar and start flailing your arms about hoping to catch the bartender’s eye. Head for the serving station, because this is where the bartender will be making drinks in the first place. Stand there patiently, no arm motions or gestures, with cash in hand for the bartender to see.

Be assertive in making eye contact, and when the bartender has a moment to look up he or she will catch your eye. Finally, don’t be cheap. Tip the bartender well, preferably 20%, or you can bet that they won’t be looking your direction when you come back for refills. 

27 Comments

  1. barfight

    May 14, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Dumbest list of what a man needs to know to be a man. How about throwing in field stripping an AR blindfolded or milking rattle snake venom.

    • PiO.W.djljEasfjl.Eajslfj..E..R

      May 26, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      With all due respect, what man would even be doing this on a regular basis? We are living in a corporate age and it is no longer about fighting or hunting and gathering. To win the game, you must play the game in front of you.

      • notapretentiousignoramous

        May 29, 2014 at 7:56 pm

        Everyone who lives in the south, midwest, other rural regions, and in second and third world countries around the globe. Not everyone lives in manhattan and is an investment banker…

  2. Mr_Scorpio

    May 21, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    Earning a living and using your paycheck to pay a professional. A real man helps to grow the economy by circulating the currency. The dollar I earn is spent and becomes the dollar that someone else earns. Even if you’re employed, on disability, Social Security, a pension or unemployment insurance, the dollar you spend is the dollar earned by another so that we all can, in turn, earn a living.

    That’s the purpose of money.

    • Autist

      May 23, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      That may be the dumbest comment I’ve ever read. Do you work for the federal government? That would explain a lot.

      • Alex Gittens

        May 27, 2014 at 7:51 pm

        IDK: sounds pretty reasonable to me. After all, isn’t that why republicans say we shouldn’t tax the rich, so they can circulate their money?

      • notconvincedgranny

        August 17, 2014 at 4:28 am

        Actually, that is basic economics. Money has to circulate; if it doesn’t, the economy stagnates.

    • shootmyownfood

      May 27, 2014 at 8:10 pm

      Why would you pay someone to do something you can do yourself? That just seems foolish.

    • Craig F

      May 27, 2014 at 10:22 pm

      Having a job does not make you a man, it just makes you productive. Being able to do things on your own without the help of a “professional” makes you a man.

  3. Deathstrike

    May 21, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    Ummm really? How about being able to cook? Nothing impresses a real woman like a man making dinner. How about some culture? Nothing wrong with a man going to see the theater or an art gallery. Most of the things in this article are more attributed to femboys and their whiny ways than real men who do these things and a whole host of other things.

    • Autist

      May 23, 2014 at 2:39 pm

      I didn’t know that girly-men fell a lot of trees. “I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay!”

      • shootmyownfood

        May 27, 2014 at 8:12 pm

        “I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers.”

    • Alex Gittens

      May 27, 2014 at 7:55 pm

      how about not basing your life around impressing women? or, how about not using a checklist to measure masculinity?

      • LumberjackRon

        June 23, 2014 at 6:22 pm

        Not impress women??? What are you talking about?

  4. The Outlier

    May 22, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    There’s only one thing a person needs to be a man, and apparently it erodes intelligence.

  5. spock

    May 23, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    To steal a quote from Steely Dan, “…the things that pass for knowledge I don’t understand.”

  6. Herbert_Philbrick

    May 26, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    My list:
    1. Gut a deer
    2. Clean and lube a gun
    3. Sharpen a knife
    4. Use a chainsaw correctly
    5. Make sausage
    6. Make sauerkraut
    7. Clean a chimney
    8. Identify a good pair of boots
    9. Hunt
    10. Fish
    11. Be proficient in armed and unarmed self defense
    12. Be a veteran

    • shootmyownfood

      May 27, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      I have accomplished everything on your list except “be a veteran” and I’m too old to join any service now. I can also grow a garden, raise poultry, can, sew, weave and spin. You?

  7. David Moore

    May 26, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    Don’t do as the author states, ” walk away from the falling tree, and wait for the thud to turn around and see your handy work”. What if it twists as it falls, and changes direction? Trees will do that, and while your walking away with your back turned it might crush you to death. Anyone who really knows about cutting down trees, knows you don’t turn your back on a falling tree. As to the jump starting a car advice, don’t connect the cable to the dead cars negative battery post. Connect the negative cable to a paint free part of the engine, or car. The author states to do it either way. If you connect the cable to the negative post, it will most likely spark. This spark could ignite hydrogen fumes coming off the battery. Well, 0 for 2 in advice that could cause serious injury or death, but the author knows how to get a table, or the bartenders attention. Hey editors, I’m available to write articles like this. I’ll even spend five minutes proof reading for the parts that could get someone killed.

  8. johnc

    May 27, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    The felling a tree section is (perhaps fatally) incomplete. Although you may have left a 2 inch ‘hinge’ of uncut wood, when the tree begins falling there will be a tremendous torque on the trunk in the direction opposite to the way the branches are falling. This will almost always snap the ‘hinge’ and the part of the tree just above the cut will kick backwards, away from the direction of fall 10 feet or more with unstoppable force.
    Always walk away in a direction 90 degrees from the path of the fall. And yes, keep an eye on it as it falls as it may twist or bounce of nearby trees on the way down.

  9. Mister Jimmy

    May 27, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    You left out: sharpen a pencil; ride a bike; spread a beach towel; mix a daiquiri; and bake a pastrie. However you got plenty of BS in.

  10. shootmyownfood

    May 27, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    According to this list, I qualify as a real man. Pretty funny, considering I was born female. I think this list is mis-titled. It should be called “12 Life Skills You Need to Call Yourself Capable.” And yes, I can fell a tree, filet a fish and all the other stuff on this list. Surprisingly, it seems men no longer need to know how to change a flat tire.

  11. Frank Visage

    May 27, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Tie a bow tie. Know how to drive a stick shift. Apply a bandage. Change you car’s oil and spark plugs. Sharpen your own kitchen knives.

  12. timejoe

    May 28, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    Weak, Weak, Weak: how about Marry your woman, provide for your family, answer the front door when strangers knock, voting, have a job all the time, fight with your bare hands, go to parent teacher conferences, have thick skin, join the neighborhood team, read, pay the bills, walk on the outside of the sidewalk with your woman, open doors for women, don’t drank and drive

  13. Nathan Johnson

    May 30, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    I’ll point out yet another flaw in this – when reverse parallel parking, if you align your A pillar with the car next to you, you should start turning AFTER you begin moving. Turning the wheel while stationary puts lots of load on your steering components and can cause premature wear.

    Learning to park/drive this way will also equip you for driving a car without power steering, as it is far easier & more efficient to turn the wheel while moving.

    Also, real men don’t need to learn how to fell a damn tree or any of that crap. Just be the best person you can – learn to provide (rather than rely on others for help), learn patience, cooking, cleaning and respect. Play a sport or at least get a hobby – mine’s racing cars and riding motorbikes. And finally, most importantly – stop worrying about what it takes to be a man!

  14. Chris

    June 11, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    …and:
    13. Teach your son to be respectful of ALL women.
    14. Teach your daughter to NEVER take crap from a man…EVER.
    15. Teach your daughter how to issue a correct kick in the nuts and how to shoot.
    16. Teach your son-in-law know that his life is not worth squat if he ever hurts (physically, psychologically or emotionally) your daughter.
    18. Teach your son-in-law that you know how to dispose of the body so it will never be found.

  15. Mac

    July 4, 2014 at 4:44 am

    1. Change a flat tire
    2. Drive stick shift
    3. Cook/grill meat and vegetables
    4. Pour a beer
    5. Floss your teeth
    6. Control a weapon
    7. Take control of a hostile situation
    8. Have a solid job
    9. Money management
    10. Hold your liquor

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